Eph.
6:1-9, “Paul Admonishes The Ephesians
That Christian Children Obey Their Parents And Slaves Obey Their Masters”
By
1.
INTRO:
1.1.
In our last study, we looked
at verses 21-33 of chapter 5.
1.1.1. Having
taught that Christians are to continually be filled with the Holy Spirit, Paul
next taught that all of us as Christians are to be subject to one another.
1.1.2. Paul next
admonished women that they were to be submissive to their husbands in all
things. We talked about what that means
for women.
1.1.3. Finally,
Paul wrote that the submission of husbands is submission to Christ whose will
is for them to love their wives in the same way as Christ loved the church and
gave Himself up for her.
1.1.4. In this
study, we will look at verses 1-9 of chapter 6.
1.1.4.1. We will
continue seeing how that the principles of submission which Paul laid down in
verse 21 of the previous chapter apply in the lives of children and their
obedience to their parents as well as slaves and their being obedient to their
masters.
1.1.4.2. From our
last study we looked at Ephesians 5:21 and it was mentioned that all of us as Christians
are called to apply the principles of submission in our lives, “21 and
be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.” We saw then that all of the principles of
submission which Paul next admonished came out of the principle taught in verse
21.
1.1.4.3. It was
mentioned in our last study that we had seen in our very first study of this
book that the book began not with Paul, not with man, and not with the church,
but with God, for Paul began by writing, “Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus
by the will of God.” Everything that
Paul wrote in this book is a revelation of the will of God as well as the
result of God’s working. God was the One
who predestined each of us who would become Christians, and that occurred
before the foundation of the world. God
chose and elected us as those who would be saved. God determined before the foundation of the
world that He would send His only begotten Son, the second person of the
Trinity, One who is divine, to take the sin penalty which all of us one day
would accrue against ourselves. It was
God who chose to reveal to us in New Testament times the riches of His grace
which He has “lavished upon us.”
It was God who has given to every believer the “unfathomable riches
of Christ.” It was God who
determined to make every sinner who is under the condemnation of death because
of his innumerable sins, who then repents and accepts Jesus Christ as his Lord
and Savior, to become equal heirs of all that Jesus Christ possesses. It all began with God and if we remember that
fact then it is much easier to accept His will and admonitions for our lives
and place ourselves in God’s plan.
1.1.4.4. We also saw
in our last study that if a person does not know the Lord Jesus Christ as his
Lord and his Savior he will not understand the importance of applying these
truths to his life, nor will he be able to do so even if he wanted to apply
them. Before applying these truths to
his own life, a person first has to see that the Lord Jesus Christ, though He
was very God of very God, God the Son, from all eternity, He none-the-less
willing submitted Himself to God the Father in order to come and be the
sin-bearer for all mankind. Jesus Christ
was willing to submit Himself and suffer and die in this horrible manner, even
though to do so would cause Him to go through the most excruciating agony a
person has every experienced. The Holy
Spirit, the third person of the Trinity, submits Himself to both the Father and
the Son, and His purpose is to glorify the Son.
Without this understanding concerning submission and the Godhead, and
the plan of redemption for mankind, no person will see the importance of
submitting Himself in the way that Paul describes in this study.
1.1.4.5. We saw that
if a person doesn’t know the Lord, he is self-centered and selfish by nature
and thus he will only submit to another if he has to do so or if there is some
sort of a personal reward that will be gained by his submission. This is why there are so many problems in
marriages and families. It is only the
Christian who truly practices the principles of submission found in this study.
1.1.4.6. We looked
also at the first two chapters of the book of Genesis and saw how that the
principles of submission for wives to their husbands was in the mind of God
from eternity and that it was also reinforced after the fall with the curse
that was made by the Lord to the woman for having eaten of the forbidden
fruit. The woman (Eve) was created to be
a helpmeet to her husband to help him to be the man God wanted him to be and to
help him be able to do the things that God had called him to do.
1.1.4.7. We also saw
that it can also be argued that the fall of Eve occurred because she usurped
authority that was not hers for she should have discussed the tree and the
serpent’s words before she ate of the forbidden tree, however she acted
independently and as a result fell into sin.
Then, we read in Genesis 3:16 about how part of the curse that the Lord
pronounced against the woman was that she would “desire” her husband,
which means that women will desire to usurp their husbands’ authority, but that
men for their part would tend to “rule over” or “trample down”
women, “16 To the woman He
said, “I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring
forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over
you.”” Now, since the fall the godly
principle of headship of a man over his wife has not changed, it is just that
the Lord has told us that there will always be a struggle between husbands and
wives concerning headship. We saw that
this passage in Genesis has been fulfilled for women today and all throughout
history have tried to usurp headship, assert their rights and even sometimes be
considered as superior. Yet, at the same
time in most countries of the world women have been considered by men as mere
slaves or objects to be possessed and dominated. They have been trampled upon by men.
1.1.4.8. We saw also
that the motive for the woman’s submission to her husband is supposed to be
that she is doing this ‘as unto the Lord.’ Women are always submissive to their husbands
when they happen to agree with their husband’s decisions, however the motive
for submission to husbands is not supposed to be because they happen to agree
with their husband. Likewise, women are
not called upon to be submissive to their husband because they happen to be
married to a man who is much more skilled in the area of leadership and making
important decisions than they are.
Rather, women are to submit to their husbands only because it is the
Lord who requires that wives are to be in submission to their husbands. God tells them to do so.
1.1.4.9. Finally, we
observed that submission for a woman to her husband does not mean that she is
inferior to him nor that she is to obey her husband like a slave. This is to be done simply because this is the
order that the Lord has created for marriage.
1.1.4.10. In our study
today, we will apply the principles of submission to the relationship of
children to their parents and slaves to their masters. These same principles apply. As we consider this topic, it might help to
bring to mind some of the history of our country:
1.1.4.10.1. Up until
sometime around the end of WWI, the attitude of parents in our country in
bringing up their children was what has been called that of the Victorian
Era. Fathers during that period of time
were stern and known for being extremely strict. Children brought up during that time learned
to fear their parents, especially their fathers, and punishment of children
resulted in severe beatings sometimes even to the point of death. It was understood by parents during this
period of time that children were born with a sinful nature and that therefore
they needed to be disciplined and punished for doing wrong so that they might
learn to have their pride and self-centeredness squashed, however this type of
parenting was out of balance because discipline was often done in anger and
many kids felt unloved by their parents.
However, because of the lasting effects of the revivals of the eighteenth
century in our country children were largely obedient and compliant towards
their parents and crime was very low in our country as a result.
1.1.4.10.2. Then, after
around the end of WWI in our country a new philosophy emerged, one that in many
ways was a violent reaction to the opposite extreme against the Victorian Era
and manner of parenting. However, this
movement was heavily influenced by the field of Psychology and was based upon
the belief that children were not born with an evil nature but were rather
inherently good. It was believed that if
a child was just loved, rarely or never disciplined, and allowed to go his own
way, that he would choose to do good and right and society would be all the
better for this. This philosophy greatly
influenced our school systems and whereas it had once been the case that
teachers and principals would discipline children now the schools rarely or no
longer disciplined children and the philosophy was that children were to be
tolerated and coddled and that by treating them this way the children would then
choose to do good and right.
1.1.4.10.2.1.
To give you an example of how the educational system
has reflected what I have stated I will talk about my own experiences. When I had went to school as a kid we were
taught a classic education of English, math, history, etc., and there were core
academic areas which defined an education.
However, when my son went to school we were told by his first grade
teacher that his socialization was most important and when we complained that our
son was not learning to read we were told by my son’s teacher that the school
didn’t really have a program to teach kids to read. She said that though they used to teach
phonics to kids to help them read that they now believed that it was just
magical how one day kids began to be able to read. After that conversation we transferred our
son to another school the following year, one which was more traditional and
taught phonics. Largely because of this
first school our son didn’t learn to read until 3rd grade.
1.1.4.10.3. We can see this
same modern philosophy concerning the inherent goodness in mankind in crime and
the justice system in our country today.
When a person committed a felony it used to be that you sent them to a “prison”
however it eventually came to be that we now send them to “correctional
facilities.” This is the politically
correct term for these facilities. We
use this name for them because we in our country now believe in the inherent
goodness in mankind and so those who commit felonies we now try to rehabilitate. Prisons used to be for the punishment of
criminals and in punishing criminals it was believed that this would also be a
deterrent to further crime. However, it
has come to be believed that since prisoners are inherently good that we need
to remove all restrictions from them and give them all kinds of comforts and
privileges in order to rehabilitate them.
Prisons also were then filled with psychiatrists and psychologists to
try to help prisons through psychoanalysis and counseling. However, let me ask you if our modern
approach has reduced crime, or have the numbers of repeat offenders been
reduced by doing these things? The
answer to these questions is, “No!”
1.1.4.10.4. The
depravity of human nature has been brought home to me this past week as I have
seen the reports on the news about the gangs of young men in
1.1.4.10.5. The
philosophy of this world that men and women are inherently good is a denial of
the truth of the scriptures:
1.1.4.10.5.1.
Men and women are not inherently good. The scriptures tell us that men and women are
born with a sin nature that is inherited from Adam and that people are sinful
from the womb, just as King David wrote in Psalm 51:5, “5 Behold,
I was brought forth in iniquity, And in sin my mother conceived me.”
1.1.4.10.5.2.
I found an interesting quote from Jon MacArthur that
is from the
1.1.4.10.5.3.
Sin is a very serious matter. The scriptures tell us that mankind’s sins
offended God and invoked his anger and wrath and that all mankind are awaiting
the judgment for their sins. However,
because God is also merciful and loving He sent His only Son from all eternity
to come and die upon the cross of Calvary and pay the penalty for our sins
which each of us deserve to pay.
1.1.4.10.5.4.
The Lord dealt with sinful mankind separated from
Himself by their sin by first placing them under a system of law. The law was meant to lead them to a higher
living under grace, however the Lord didn’t first place mankind under the
system of grace. In the same way,
children when they are raised by parents need to be raised under the law of
their parents, while they live under their parent’s roof. For children to not be raised up under laws
and requirements from their parents in hopes that the children will choose to
do good is to expect something from them that they are not capable of
performing. Children first need to learn
through the discipline that their parents provide for them in their life. Then, when they move out on their own they
can and must choose for themselves whether or not they will follow God’s ways
and do His will.
1.1.4.11. I want to
make another point here. It is the lack
of submission of children to parents that has caused many of the problems in
our country today. The vast majority of
children today are very rebellious and disrespectful to their parents, and they
refuse to obey their parents. However,
in turning away from their parents they end up becoming juvenile delinquents
and unless they have a change of heart often end up committing crimes and spend
their lives inside of our prisons.
2. VS 6:1 - “1 Children, obey your
parents in the Lord, for this is right.” -
Paul tells the children in the Ephesian church to obey their parents
2.1.
So, the injunction from Paul then is now the
admonishment to Christian children that they are to ‘obey’ their
parents.
2.2.
Christian parents are to raise up their children in
the admonition of the Lord, just as the Israelites were commanded to do with
their children, which means that we are to daily teach our children of God’s
ways and what it means to follow the Lord.
2.3.
Christian parents are also to teach their children to
submit. Because children are born with a
rebellious sinful nature whose tendency is to be selfish and self-centered and
prideful, it is the parent’s responsibility through the disciplining of their
children to break those sinful tendencies and patterns and teach their children
through this to serve and be submissive to the Lord in their lives.
2.4.
Just as a wife should view the submission she gives to
her husband as submitting to his loving her and taking care of her, so should
children view their submission to their parents. Children need to view their parents as agents
from God given to them for the purpose of teaching and training them to be
servants of the Lord. Children you must
realize that God gave you the parents that you have because He loves you and
knew that you would need these parents in order to be molded into the person
that God wants you to be.
2.5.
When Paul writes here that children are supposed to
obey their parents ‘in the Lord’ this simply refers to the realm in
which their obedience takes place. It is
as children are serving the Lord that they are to be obedient to their parents.
2.6.
Children, just as it is with wives and their
submission to their husbands, you are responsible to do your part in being
submissive regardless of whether or not your parents are acting like they
should act. Wives often refuse to submit
because they are waiting for their husband to make the first move and begin to
do their God given part in the marriage in loving their wives as Christ loved
the church. Likewise, husbands often
refuse to begin being the spiritual leader that they should be until their wife
begins to submit and respect them as she should. However, it is always the case that it is our
responsibility to honor God and do our part regardless of whether anyone else
is doing their part. And, as was
mentioned, when we begin to do our part God begins to use us in the life of our
husband, wife, or parents to convict them and mold them into His image.
2.7.
Children, just as wives are to realize in relation to
their husbands, you must realize that if you will be obedient to your parents
that God will use you in their lives, especially if your parents are for some
reason being unreasonable in their demands for you. The Lord will convict your parents if you
will do your part and be submissive to them.
2.8.
Parents in their disciplining of their children do not
need to be harsh (In fact, their punishment should always fit the crime!). Rather, they need to be consistent In all cases when someone is under our
authority we are to attempt to treat them in the same as the Lord has treated
us. O parent, can you imagine if the
Lord treated you the way you sometimes treat your child? O husband, can you imagine if the Lord
treated you the way you sometimes treat your wife?
2.9.
As we saw in our last study with wives, Paul is not
saying that children are only supposed to obey their parents if their parents
are Christians. Paul does not qualify
his teachings regarding submission in chapter 5 and 6 of this book, wives are
to submit to their husbands and children to their parents. Thus, wives are to submit to their
non-Christian husbands and children are likewise to submit to their
non-Christian parents. This is true of
course unless to do so would be to commit sin.
If you cannot submit to your parents wishes without disobeying God and
His commandments, then you must submit to the Lord instead of your
parents. There is an instance in the
early part of the book of Acts where the governing Jewish authorities in
2.10.
Paul told Christian wives in 1 Corinthians chapter 7
that they were not to divorce an unbelieving husband unless the husband
abandoned them, and that they were to stay with them so that they might be able
to win their non-believing husbands to the Lord. In the same way, Christian children are to
submit even to non-believing parents (as long as to do so would not cause them
to sin), and their grand motive in doing this should be the hopes that their
non-believing parents might come to know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.
2.11.
Children notice here that Paul writes that children
are to obey and submit themselves to their parents because ‘this is right.” It is the righteous thing to do to submit
yourself to your parents and you need to realize that the Lord will be pleased
with you as you obey Him and do this just as wives were admonished to submit to
their husbands, “as unto the Lord.”
Your motive in submission to your parents must be that you love the Lord
and want to please Him in every area of your life and therefore you are
submitting to your parents.
2.12.
When we were raising our kids and they were refusing
to obey us, we told them that that very attitude that they were displaying if
unchecked would eventually lead them to become a criminal. We loved the too much to allow that to
happen, therefore we were going to set up rules in our household and there
would be consequences for not obeying those rules. We would tell them that if they refused to
live under our rules that there was a place for kids to go who were like this
and that it was a
2.13.
When we would discipline our kids we would try to deal
with where their hearts were at. If they
had done something wrong and were defiant, then they were going to receive a
good punishment. However, if they were
sorry and repentant for the thing that they had done then they would not
receive as much of a punishment.
Likewise a couple of days of grounding would turn to one day, or a
couple of weeks of grounding would turn to a week, if our kids eventually
became broken and repentant. This worked
very well in our household.
2.14.
Children are only required to obey their parents while
they are living in their parent’s house, however they should always honor their
parents. In fact, Jesus taught that the
practice of the Pharisees in His day was wrong of people refusing to take care
of their elderly parents financially because they had dedicated their money to
the Lord. Children are to take care of
their elderly parents in the same way that those parents took care of them as children.
3. VS
6:2-3 - “2 Honor your father and mother (which is
the first commandment with a promise), 3 so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.” - Paul tells the Ephesian church that honoring
parents is a commandment that comes with a promise
3.1.
Here we see Paul invoking one of the ten commandments
in relation to how children are supposed to react and respond to their
parents. The law of Moses taught that a
child is supposed to ‘honor’ his father and mother, and this is really
the same thing as saying that they are supposed to “respect” them.
3.2.
Respect for parents is shown not only in the attitude
which children have towards their parents but also by their obeying their
parents commands.
3.3.
It is interesting here that Paul writes that the
command to honor fathers and mothers is the first of the laws with a
promise. This is an Old Testament
promise that carries over into the New Testament.
3.3.1. By the
way, some teachers in the church are
wrong when they teach their people that the Old Testament has no bearing in the
lives of Christians in New Testament times, and when they refuse to teach from
the Old Testament. Much of the Old
Testament applies either directly or indirectly to our lives as Christians and
therefore we are responsible to not only study the New Testament but also the
Old Testament. In the Old Testament when
the Law of Moses was given to the Israelites they were also told of the “blessing”
that would come about from the Lord for obeying the law as well as the “curse”
that would come about from the Lord for not obeying it. Paul is referring to the blessing and curse
here.
3.3.2. It is good
to remember that under the Old Testament Law it was taught that disrespect and
disobedience to parents was a capital crime and that parents could choose to
have a son or daughter who committed such offenses to be put to death.
3.3.3. Note that
prosperity as well as a long life are part of the blessing promised to obedient
and respectful children.
4. VS 6:4 - “4 Fathers, do not
provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and
instruction of the Lord.” - Paul tells
fathers in the Ephesian church not to provoke their children but to bring them
up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord
4.1.
There should proper be balance in a Christian’s life,
and here Paul gives us some balance. Not
only are parents to discipline their children when their children disobey and
disrespect them, fathers here are admonished that they must not ‘provoke’
their children to anger. This provoking
referred to is primarily the provoking through discipline that is unreasonable,
unwarranted, or too harsh.
4.2.
Though the admonishment in this case is given to ‘fathers’
this does not preclude the idea that mothers can also ‘provoke’ their
children to anger. Mothers must take
this admonishment to heart in the same way that fathers do.
4.3.
There are many ways that parents can provoke their
children to anger:
4.3.1. Parents who
can never be satisfied with their children’s achievements.
4.3.2. Parents who
can punish their children too harshly.
4.3.3. Parents who
can be inconsistent in their application of discipline or make capricious
decisions that do not make sense. It
must not be the case that one day a child is punished for something that they
normally get away with. Punishment must
be consistent to keep from frustrating children.
4.3.4. Parents who
can only criticize their children when they do wrong and never compliment them
when they do good.
4.3.5. Parents who can
make unreasonable demands upon their children.
4.3.6. Parents who
can make decisions about their children from selfish reasons not thinking of
what is best for their child.
4.3.7. Parents who
can refuse to listen to their children when their children are trying to
explain themselves and why they have done different things.
4.3.8. Parents who
can dominate their children and in doing so not allow their children learn to
make decisions concerning their own life.
Domineering parents rear children who many times don’t ever want to
marry or in some cases become homosexual in their orientation.
4.3.9. Parents who
can be critical of their children in front of others thereby humiliating them.
5. VS
6:5-8 - “5 Slaves,
be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and
trembling, in the sincerity of your heart, as to Christ; 6 not by
way of eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of
God from the heart. 7 With good will render service, as to the Lord,
and not to men, 8 knowing that whatever good thing each one does,
this he will receive back from the Lord, whether slave or free.” - Paul admonishes slaves that they are to
submit themselves to their masters
5.1.
In Paul’s day there were many problems that existed in
society because of the relations of slaves with their masters. Slaves were often rebellious against and
would flee from their masters. Masters
were often overly harsh to their slaves beating them senseless and many times
even beating them to death.
5.2.
Paul tells slaves in the church at Ephesus that just
because they had come to have faith in Christ and found freedom from their
sins, this did not mean that they did not have earthly responsibilities. They were now responsible as Christians, children
of the King of Kings, to be submissive to their masters ‘according to the
flesh’ and that in doing so they were to have the motivation that they were
‘doing the will of God from the heart.’
5.3.
Paul tells the slaves here at
5.4.
These slaves were to be sincere and not just render
lip service, or what Paul refers to here as ‘eye service.’
5.5.
The book of Philemon was written by Paul to a
Christian man named Philemon at the church at Collosae. This man had a slave named Onesimus who had
come to faith in Christ after escaping from his master and fleeing to
5.6.
Paul encourages the slaves in
6. VS 6:9 - “9 And masters, do the
same things to them, and give up threatening, knowing that both their Master
and yours is in heaven, and there is no partiality with Him.” - Paul admonishes masters not to threaten their
slaves
6.1.
Paul admonishes slave owners in the Ephesian church to
treat their slaves in a Christ-like way and therefore to stop ‘threatening’
them, and it is implied that they are also to stop showing all types of cruelty
to their slaves. He tells slave owners
to ‘do the same tings to them,’ in other words they were to be
Christ-like towards their slaves and be subject to one another.
6.2.
Paul warns those who are masters that their slaves
serve the same master in heaven as they do and that ‘there is no partiality
with Him.’ The Lord will deal with a
cruel master in other words.
7. CONCLUSIONS:
7.1.
.Parents lets be committed to applying Paul’s teaching
to the way in which we rear our children.
7.1.1. Be committed
to disciplining your children but do so with consistency not harshness
realizing that you are teaching them the way to pattern their lives. Through your consistency of discipline teach
them to make right choices.
7.1.2. Be committed
to not provoking your children to anger but rather bring them up in the nurture
and admonition of the Lord.
7.1.3. Apply the
“Golden Rule” to your kids when you discipline them. If you were a child how would you want your
parents to treat and deal with you?
7.2.
Children lets recognize that God gave you your parents
as the means He has chosen to mold your life and character to be like Christ,
and He has given them to you because He loves you. Therefore, be obedient to your parents as
unto the Lord.